Tuesday, March 27, 2012

nn @ indahnya Al Quran I

both beautiful piccas taken from baiti :)

Saturday, March 10, 2012

nn @ lima bahasa cinta

Abdullah Hasan | The Five Languages of Love

Love is a quality that all human beings desire to inculcate within themselves. Whether we are husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, etc. we all desire to love and to be loved. Married or single, every adult has an emotional love tank. When we feel loved by people significant to us, life is beautiful. When our love tank is empty, we struggle emotionally. Many problems in relationships among adults stem from an empty love tank. When we feel loved by our spouse, for example, the world looks bright. But if our love tank is empty, the world begins to look rather dark. No material success or gain can fill the spiritual love that is drawn from the love of Allāh and emulating the Sunnah of the Messenger ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) in a marriage.
People are different; men and women are different. What makes one person feel loved will not necessarily make another person feel loved. By nature, we tend to express love to others in a way we wish to they would express love to us. When our spouse does not respond positively to our expressions of love, we get frustrated. The problem is not the sincerity of our love or that we do not love our spouse; the problem is that we are speaking the wrong love language. If we speak our own language but nor our mate's, we will invariably fail to communicate our emotions and feelings properly.
In the marriage context (in particular) people express their love for their spouse, for example, through complementing their spouse – through words of affirmation. Others confirm their love through acts of devotions or services to their spouses. Others show their love through spending time with their spouses – giving them their undivided attention. Others express their love for their spouses through buying gifts. And others demonstrate their love through sexual intimacy and physical touch.
Everyone has a primary and secondary love language. Some people, for example, desire words of affirmation from their spouse more than anything else and that is their main method of receiving and expressing love. This does not mean they do not require quality time and the physical touch; however, this is what makes them click and shine. The inability of a person not understanding their spouse's love languages can be devastating to a marriage. It is like a person speaking to you in Chinese while you do not know how to even say hello in that language! If you speak the same language you will be able to communicate, express and demonstrate your feelings and needs to that person directly and noticeably.
The five 'love languages' have been introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his New York Times best seller 'The Five Love Languages', which has sold over 5 million copies in America and has been translated in over 37 languages. In this book, he elucidates how people express and receive love. After contemplation and studying couples, he says, he realized that people universally fall in these five love languages. He explains how people can identify their primary love language and how best to express that in the various contexts.
Below are some reflections from the Sunnah on how the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) demonstrated his love to his wives based around the five love languages presented by the author. Of course the love languages are not limited to the five mentioned by the author. There are more than five but these are the fundamental and the most basic ones, which all races and people understand. There also are within these five love languages various dialects.
Before we continue, I would like to insert a disclaimer. Some people may be wondering why we as Muslims should refer to or even read books from non-Muslims. The reply is simple and obvious. We benefit and take good from wherever it comes from. The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) is reported to have said, “Wisdom is the lost property of the believer; wherever he finds it he has the right to take it.” (Ibn Mājah). This ḥadīth is weakened by some scholars; however, the meaning is sound and can be used at this instance. In addition, this topic is a human concern and is not just limited to Muslims. We learn these from human experiences and empirical evidences. The proceeding thoughts are a summary of some of the ways the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) expressed his love for his wives. It is hoped that this will be a reminder for some and learning for others.

1. Words of Affirmation – Express Your Feelings Verbally:

The words we use to express our appreciation and love for our spouse is of paramount importance in our endeavor to a blissful marriage. It is using words to affirm the other person. Sometimes complementing your spouse on how well she looks, or saying thank you after he has taken the garbage out, or complimenting the wife's cooking (even though this particular dish is not to your taste buds. It is allowed in Islam!), helps to achieve that goal. It could be a written word – by writing a letter, or e-mail, text, Facebook, Twitter. There are many ways this can be accomplished. For some people, and I have observed this primarily in women, this is the best thing a husband can do for his wife.
If your spouse's primary love language is words of affirmation, your spoken praise and appreciation will fall like rain parched soil. Before long, you will see new life sprouting in your marriage as your spouse responds to your words of love.
The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) was once asked by 'Amr b. al-'Āṣ, “O Messenger of Allāh, who do you love most?” The Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) replied “'Ā'ishah.” 'Amr then asked, “And amongst the men,” The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) then said, “Her Father.” (Bukhāri)
He showed his love even in her absence. SubhanAllāh! Note how the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “her father,” and related the answer back to his beloved even though he was asked about whom he loved most among the men.
He ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) would praise his wife in front of other people. The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said that value of 'Ā'ishah (may Allāh be pleased with her) among women was the same value of tharīd (bread soaked in soup) compared to other foods. (Muslim).
He ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) declare his love for his wife openly. The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said about Khadījah (may Allāh be pleased with her) “I have been given her love.” (Muslim). And many other such narrations.
He was softly spoken. He would not censure his wives nor would did he ever raise his voice or his hands ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). Kind words penetrates and leaves an unforgettable mark that transcends anything else. This is why the wives of the Prophet all said that they would not want to spend their time with anyone else except the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him).
The Prophet's love for 'Ā'ishah was so well known that even after his death the salaf who took  aḥadīth from 'Ā'ishah would say: “'Ā'ishah al-iddīqah bint al-ṣiddīqabibat al-abibnarrated to me that…” Anas b. Mālik stated, “The first love we knew of in Islam, was the love of Muḥammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) and 'Ā'ishah.”
It also important to, occasionally, tell your spouse that you love them. Many people, for some reason or another, find it difficult to say 'I love you'. Not because they do not love their spouse but perhaps it is the way they have been brought up or that they are following the status quo – that it is not manly to express your love for your wife. On the contrary, in Islam, this is the basis of chivalry and manhood as taught by the beloved ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him).

2. Acts of Service – Show Your Love Through Actions:

Ever heard the saying “actions speak louder than words”? Using words to express your love for your spouse is not the only way; we should prove that we love our spouse through our actions as well as speech.
One of the ways of showing your spouse love is beautifying yourself for them. Ibn 'Abbās would always brush his hair and make sure his appearance is pleasing before entering his home, he would say, “Just as I would like my wife to beautiful for me, I like to look beautiful for her.” (Tirmidhi). One can take part in beautifying their spouse; they can brush their spouse's hair, and apply perfume on them just as 'Ā'ishah used to do for Allāh's Messenger ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). 'Ā'ishah (may Allāh be pleased with her) reported: “When the messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him)was in the mosque he put his head in to my place and I combed his hair.” (Muslim)
The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) was described by his wife that 'he was in the service of his family' (Bukhāri). In other narrations, they explained that he used to help in the house. He ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him)would sew his own clothes, sweep the floor, repair his shoes, service himself (without asking his wives), etc.
Acts of service can be for instance taking the garbage out, cleaning the dishes, ironing the clothes for your spouse. Helping the wife in the kitchen once in a while. I have to emphasize the word 'help'. It does not mean he becomes the cook and she helps! Unless the responsibilities have changed. And there is nothing wrong in the husband cooking for the family once in a while, is there?
One of the most important things is that one is clean so that their spouse is not repulsed by them, the Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Verily Allāh is pure and loves the pure, is clean and loves the clean, is beneficent and loves the beneficent, is generous and loves the generous.”  In another narration, the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) described purity as being a part of faith.
If acts of service is your spouse's primary love language, nothing will speak more deeply to him or her emotionally than simple acts of service.

3. Receiving Gifts:

'In every society throughout human history, gift giving has been perceived as an expression of love. Giving gifts is universal, because there is something inside the human psyche that says if you love someone, you will give to him or her. What many people do not understand is that for some people, receiving gifts is their primary love language. It is the thing that makes them feel loved most deeply. If you are married to someone whose primary love language is gift giving, you will make your spouse  feel loved and treasured by giving  gifts on birthdays, holidays (Eids), anniversaries, and “no occasion” days. The gifts need not be expensive or elaborate; it's the thought that counts. Even something as simple as a homemade card or a few cheerful flowers will communicate your love to your spouse. Little things mean a lot to many people.'
'Ā'ishah (may Allāh be pleased with her) said, “The people were waiting for 'Ā'ishah's (may Allāh be pleased with her) day to give their gifts, wanting by this to please the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him).” (Muslim)

4. Quality Time – Give Your Undivided Attention:

It is extremely important that a couple enjoy quality time with one another, especially after having children. This time can be used to learn more about one another's likes and dislikes, or the time can be spent engaging in activities and hobbies that the couple enjoy together.
The passion in most marriages dies out after a few years due to the lack of quality time alone. Some may make the excuse that they do not find enough time, but this quality time can be even only an hour; you can go out to drink coffee together (alone), or you can go for a walk in the park. We must understand that this element of privacy is essential in order to have a healthy, lively relationship.
This is also an important reminder to Islamic workers (du'āt and scholars). Much of their time is spent outside teaching, giving da'wah, organizing events etc. Some brothers find it extremely difficult to find the right amount of time to give to their wives due to the great number of commitments they have outside. That is important and needed, but if your spouse is not receiving adequate time every week, then the marriage may start to show some rifts. This has unfortunately happen to many brothers I know to the point that one wife said to her husband, “May I check your diary so I can book some appointments with you?”
Therefore, it is very important to set aside some time for the family. This could be by including family time in your weekly diary.
The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) would allocate time and days to each one of his wives adequately and fairly.

5. Intimacy – Physical Touch:

Intimacy strengthens the bond and connection between married couples. It is a means by which husband and wife can satisfy their desires. Intimacy is also the means by which one can show their spouse love and affection. This increases the happiness, comfort and security within the marriage. Being intimate does not just refer to sexual intercourse; it also includes kissing, embracing, touching. Both spouses have the duty to be sexually available to one another, and both husband and wife have the right upon their spouse to have their conjugal rights and desires fulfilled.
It is from the Sunnah of Allāh's Messenger ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) to passionately kiss ones wife. 'Ā'ishah narrates that the Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) would kiss one of his wives and then leave for prayer without performing wuḍū'. 'Urwa b. Zubayr (her nephew) says, “I asked 'Ā'ishah, 'It must have been you?' (Upon hearing this) 'Ā'ishah smiled.”  (Tirmidhi, Abu Dāwūd, Nisā'i)
When any of the wives of the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) were on their menses, he would make them wrap around their lower body and he would fondle them. The wife of the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) Maymunah said, “The Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) would be intimate with his wives above the izār (waist wrapper) when they were menstruating.” (Bukhāri).
When 'Ā'ishah was asked, “What was the first thing the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) would do when he entered his house?” She said that the first thing he ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) would do was use the miswak; the'ulemā' commented on this and said that it was so he could kiss her. (Bukhāri)
The Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) would take off his upper garment when he got into bed with one of his wives so that she can feel his skin and thereby feels some sort of intimacy.
Imām Ibn al-Qayyim reported that the Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) forbade from engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay. (Tibb al-Nabawi)  In a ḥadīth, the Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal, but let there first be a messenger between you.” “And what is that messenger?” they asked, and he replied: “Kisses and words.”  (Daylami)
Jābir ibn 'Abdullāh narrates: “I was in the company of the messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) in a battle. The Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said to me, 'Did you marry?' I answered, 'Yes.' He ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, 'A virgin or a non-virgin?' I said, 'A non-virgin.' The Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, 'Why not a virgin so that you may play with her and she can play with you?'”  (Bukhāri)
In order to obtain optimal results, each spouse should know what pleases their partner, and this can only be known through communication.

Entertaining One Another:

The Messenger of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) encouraged his followers to play with their wives and entertain them. He ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, “Every game a person plays is futile except for archery, training one's horse and playing with one's wife.”  (Tirmidhi, Ibn Mājah, Aḥmad)
In illustration of this practice, 'Ā'ishah records that on more than one occasion she and the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) raced and sometimes she won and sometimes he won. Most men nowadays consider it far beneath their dignity to play any sort of game with their wives, and their marriages are the duller and poorer due to this.

Gentleness and Kindness:

If we want to know what gentleness is, then we must look at what Allāh said about him in the Qur'ān: “And we have not sent you except as a mercy to mankind.”  (21:107).
The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) once advised 'Ā'ishah, “There is not gentleness in anything, except that it becomes more beautiful, and there is not harshness in anything except that it makes it ugly.” Allāh says to the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) in the Qur'ān: “It is part of the Mercy of Allāh that you did deal gently with them if you had been severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from you.”  (3:159).
'Ā'ishah narrated that the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) never raised his hand to any of his wives or servants. If we look at his marriages we see that he ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) was gentle with all his wives in both speech and action. When a member of his family or a servant of his would call on him, he would reply saying: “Labbayka! (at your service).”
The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) commanded the men to fear Allāh regarding women, and to treat them with kindness because they were only made lawful to them through the words of Allāh (i.e. the marriage contract). He said, “And enjoin on one another goodness towards women; verily they are married to you: you have no power over them at all unless they come in for a flagrantly filthy action; but if they are devoted to you, then seek no way against them. And verily, you have rights over your women, and they have rights over you.” (Tirmidhi).
Finally, a person's primary love language may be words of affirmation; it does not, however, mean that a spouse only focuses on this. What it means is that he or she should give more importance and priority to this aspect but at the same time he should not neglect other aspects. The spouses should have a comprehensive outlook and prioritize the languages to suit the needs of their spouse. If someone is able to fulfill all of the basic love languages then that is better.
So what is your love language?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

nn @ mujahadah nafsu

Bagaimana keadaan kita jika terlihat seekor lipan di hujung kaki tetapi kemudian terpandang seekor harimau tidak berapa jauh daripada kita? Apakah kita masih memikirkan bahaya lipan atau bahaya harimau?
Ya, tentu sahaja kita akan berikhtiar untuk menyelamatkan diri daripada bahaya harimau. Walaupun lipan dekat, tetapi gigitannya tidaklah seganas cengkaman harimau.
Begitulah perumpamaan antara bahaya nafsu dengan bahaya-bahaya yang lain. Nafsu akan menyebabkan kita lebih rasa menderita. Bukan sahaja di dunia tetapi juga di akhirat.
Malangnya, hal yang sepenting itu tidak dititik-beratkan. Kejahatan hawa nafsu, sifat-sifat dan kaedah melawannya hampir tidak pernah dibicarakan. Padahal, nafsu itulah angkara segala kejahatan yang kita deritai kini. Sebut sahaja, apa kejahatannya, pasti dalangnya adalah hawa nafsu.
Kita sibuk memperketat kawalan, disiplin dan undang-undang tetapi membiarkan puncanya berkembang subur dan membiak. Mampukah pagar yang rapuh mengawal binatang buas yang bilangannya kian banyak dan tenaganya semakin kuat?
Begitulah bandingannya undang-undang ciptaan manusia dengan kejahatan hawa nafsu.
Undang-undang walaupun sehebat mana pun tidak akan berkesan jika nafsu tidak dijinakkan terlebih dahulu.
Pagar itu akan diterjah dan rebah dipijak dan diinjak menyebabkan kita terpaksa membina pagar demi pagar, berulang-kali.
Kuasai Nafsu, Kuasai Dunia
"Jika kita menguasai diri, kita akan menguasai dunia," demikian kata cerdik pandai.
Tetapi bagaimana pula kalau kita gagal menguasai diri? Ya, pasti kita pula yang akan dikuasai dunia.
Jika demikian amat buruk akibatnya lantaran dunia itu adalah 'hamba' yang baik tetapi 'tuan' yang sangat jahat. Orang yang berjaya adalah orang yang gigih mencari kebaikan dunia tetapi selamat daripada tipuannya.
Firman Allah: "Sesungguhnya tiadalah kehidupan dunia itu melainkan mata benda yang menipu daya." (Surah al-An'am 6: 32)
Al-kisah, seorang raja sedang menaiki kuda dengan angkuhnya. Dia terserempak dengan seorang petani yang soleh sedang berjalan kaki. Raja pun bertanya, "siapa kamu?"
Petani yang soleh itu menjawab, "aku seorang raja."
Raja tertawa, kemudian terus berkata dengan nada menyindir, "raja kerajaan mana?"
Petani menjawab, "raja untuk kerajaan diriku."
Raja terdiam. Dan kemudian petani itu pula bertanya, "adakah tuanku menjadi raja kepada diri sendiri?"
Raja terus terdiam kerana faham maksud kata-kata petani yang soleh itu.
Begitulah dalam kehidupan kita sehari-hari. Ramai orang besar yang hakikatnya hanya insan kerdil kerana tidak mampu melawan hawa nafsunya.
Kuasa, ilmu, harta dan nama yang tersohor tidak membawa makna dan kebahagiaan dalam hidup sekiranya hidup diperkotak-katikkan oleh hawa nafsu.
Hal ini kerana nafsu itu sifat tabiinya hanyalah mengarah kepada kejahatan. Maka hidup seseorang yang dikuasainya hanya akan penuh dengan kejahatan. Jika demikian, mana ada ketenangan dan kebahagiaan? Tidak ada kebahagiaan bagi manusia yang tenggelam dalam kejahatan.
Dikuasai dunia maksudnya, diri kita akan didorong oleh sesuatu yang berbentuk kebendaan, kemasyhuran dan jawatan dalam apa jua fikiran dan tindakan. Ketika itu kita gagal memperalatkan dunia sebaliknya dunialah yang memperalatkan kita.
Akibat gagal menguasai dirilah kebanyakan manusia sangat cintakan dunia.
Selain itu cintakan dunia akan menyebabkan manusia cenderung melakukan kejahatan. Sebab itu masyhurlah kata-kata popular dalam kalangan ahli-ahli tasawuf; cinta dunia itu adalah kepala segala kejahatan.
Apabila semua itu terjadi, manusia tidak lagi layak menjadi hamba Allah. Oleh sebab itu, untuk menjadi hamba Allah manusia mestilah menguasai dirinya.
Inilah yang dibimbangkan oleh Syeikh Ibn Ataillah dalam al-Hikam menerusi katanya:
"Bagaimana akan terang hati seseorang yang segala gambaran dunia itu terpahat dalam cermin hatinya? Atau bagaimanakah dia akan mengembara menuju kepada Allah padahal ia terbelenggu oleh nafsu syhawatnya?"
Manusia Dan Mujahadah
Seterusnya, apakah yang dimaksudkan dengan menguasai diri? Jelas maksud menguasai diri ialah menundukkan nafsu jahat yang ada di dalam diri bagi membolehkan kita melakukan perintah Allah dan meninggalkan larangan-Nya. Sedangkan nafsu itu sebahagian daripada diri kita yang sentiasa ingin menghancurkan diri kita.
Berhubung dengan melawan hawa nafsu ini Imam al-Ghazali menyebutkan tiga tingkatan manusia dalam usaha memerangi hawa nafsunya:
1. Telah menyerah kalah.
Golongan ini tergolong dalam mereka yang dikuasai sepenuhnya hawa nafsunya dan tidak dapat melawannya sama sekali. Ini merupakan keadaan majoriti manusia. Mereka ini telah mempertuhankan hawa nafsunya. Firman Allah: "Maka, pernahkah kamu melihat orang yang telah menjadikan hawa nafsunya sebagai tuhannya dan Allah membiarkannya sesat berdasarkan ilmu-Nya." (Surah al-Jatsiyah: 23)
2. Sedang dan sentiasa berperang.
Golongan ini terdiri daripada mereka yang sentiasa dalam bertarik tali berlawan dengan hawa nafsu. Adakalanya dia menang dan ada kalanya kalah. Insya-Allah, inilah orang yang sedang berjuang (mujahadah). Mereka ini menunaikan apa yang diperintahkan oleh Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. melalui sabdanya yang bermaksud: "Berjuanglah kamu melawan hawa nafsumu sebagaimana kamu berjuang melawan musuh-musuhmu."
3. Orang yang telah menang.
Golongan itu terdiri daripada mereka yang berjaya menguasai sepenuhnya hawa nafsunya. Mereka ini terpelihara daripada berbuat dosa dan maksiat kecuali sangat sedikit melakukan maksiat. Perjuangan menentang hawa nafsu adalah satu bentuk perjuangan jangka panjang. Perjuangan ini hanya akan berakhir dengan kematian. Sikap waspada dan sentiasa siapa siaga amat diperlukan setiap masa.
Erti Mujahadah dan Kepentingannya
Melawan hawa nafsu bagi maksud mengawal, mengurus dan mengendalikannya adalah wajib kerana kita hanya wajar menjadi hamba Allah.
Demikian yang dapat difahami daripada kaedah, "tidak sempurna sesuatu yang wajib melainkan dengan sesuatu itu maka sesuatu itu juga menjadi wajib." 
Berdasarkan itu, jika kita tidak berbuat demikian, sudah tentu kita akan berdosa. Bukankah syurga itu hanya ada pada mereka yang menundukkan kehendak nafsunya kepada kehendak Allah? Firman Allah:
"Dan adapun orang-orang yang takut kepada kebesaran Tuhannya dan menahan diri daripada nafsunya, maka sungguh syurgalah tempat tinggalnya" (Surah al-Naziat: 40-41)
Melawan hawa nafsu juga adalah syarat untuk mendapat pimpinan Allah. 
Kepentingan melawan hawa nafsu ini ditegaskan lagi oleh Rasulullah s.a.w. menerusi sabdanya:
"Tidak beriman salah seorang antara kalian hingga hawa nafsunya mengikuti apa yang aku bawa." Baginda juga bersabda: "Seorang mujahid (iaitu seorang yang berjihad) ialah dia yang melawan hawa nafsunya kerana Allah."
Mujahadah bermaksud berusaha untuk melawan dan menundukkan kehendak hawa nafsu.
Istilah "mujahadah" berasal daripada kata "al-jihad" iaitu berusaha segala kesungguhan, kekuatan dan kesanggupan pada jalan yang diyakini benar. Dengan kata yang lain, seorang yang bermujahadah dengan rela meninggalkan apa yang disukainya demi memburu sesuatu yang diyakininya benar, baik dan betul.
Inilah maksud kata-kata Imam al-Ghazali: "Antara tanda kecintaan hamba kepada Allah ialah dia mengutamakan perkara yang disukai Allah daripada kehendak nafsu serta peribadi, sama ada dalam aspek zahir atau batin."
Selain itu ilmu, taktik dan strategi melawan hawa nafsu wajib dipelajari. Bahkan kita tidak akan menang jika dalam menempuh jalan mujahadah hanya dilakukan dengan semberono. Malangnya, ilmu tentang mujahadah ini seolah-olah terpinggir pada masa kini. Manakala strategi melawan hawa nafsu hampir tidak dibicarakan lagi.
Ironinya, jika dengan musuh zahir yang jarang-jarang kita berdepan dengannya, kita sanggup membelanjakan jutaan ringgit untuk membeli kelengkapan perang dan sejata, mengorbankan banyak masa dan tenaga untuk persiapan berperang, tetapi dengan hawa nafsu yang setiap detik kita berperang dengannya, mengapa ambil tidak indah sahaja.
Sedangkan nafsu ini adalah musuh yang paling berbahaya, yang sepatutnya lebih diberi perhatian serius. Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda:"Orang yang kuat bukanlah orang yang dapat mengalahkan musuhnya tetapi dapat menguasai marahnya."
Prinsip Asas Dalam Melawan Hawa Nafsu
Berikut tiga prinsip asas kaedah melawan nafsu. Tiga kaedah ini telah digariskan oleh ulama pakar dalam meneliti perjalanan hati dan nafsu manusia. Dalam kitab Minhajul Abidin misalnya, Imam Ghazali telah menggariskan tiga prinsip asas berikut:
1. Menahan atau menyekat sumber kekuatannya.
Nafsu yang diumpamakan kuda yang liar itu boleh dijinakkan dengan syarat ditahan sumber yang memberikannya tenaga. Jadi, nafsu boleh dikawal dengan menahan makan (berpuasa).
Oleh sebab itulah dalam Islam kita diwajibkan berpuasa sebulan dalam setahun. Dan digalakkan juga berpuasa sunat hari-hari tertentu. Malah mereka yang belum mampu berkahwin, nabi Muhammad s.a.w. menganjurkan mereka menjinakkan nafsu seks dengan berpuasa.
Selain menahan perut daripada banyak makan, ada lagi beberapa sumber kekuatan nafsu yang perlu disekat. Antaranya, menahan pandangan (mata) daripada yang haram, telinga daripada mendengar sesuatu yang berdosa, mulut daripada berkata-kata yang dilarang, hati daripada sifat-sifat mazmumah dan lain-lain.
Semua ini perlu diketahui dengan cara belajar. Ilmu yang berkaitan dengan menjaga pancaindera inilah yang dimaksudkan dalam ilmu tasawuf sebagai akhlak. Hukum mempelajarinya, fardhu ain bagi setiap mukhallaf.
2. Membebankan nafsu itu dengan ibadah.
Setelah nafsu yang diumpamakan sebagai kuda liar itu disekat sumber kekuatannya, langkah seterusnya ialah dengan dibebankan ibadah tertentu terutamanya ibadah khusus yang berbentuk fardhu dan sunat.
Solat terutamanya, sangat diperlukan dalam kaedah ini semata-mata untuk 'menyeksa' nafsu. Bukan sahaja solat lima waktu tetapi solat malam (qiamulalil) sangat berkesan untuk menundukan hawa nafsu.
Begitu juga dengan zikrullah yang lain seperti membaca al-Quran serta wirid-wirid tertentu (yakni yang bersumberkan al-Quran,  hadis-hadis sahih dengan tunjuk ajar dan didikan syeikh atau guru yang benar serta mendapat petunjuk (mursyid).
Begitu juga dengan amalan sedekah, kerja-kerja amal, mengajar, belajar dan lain-lain amal kebajikan. Pokok pangkalnya, bebankanlah nafsu kita dengan ibadah hingga ia merasa letih untuk melakukan kejahatan.
Ingatlah nafsu itu tidak pernah puas dan kehendanya tidak terbatas, maka ibadah yang dapat menundukkannya hendaknya begitu juga. Jangan terbatas dan jangan dibatasi oleh rasa puas.
3. Berdoa minta bantuan Allah untuk menewaskannya.
Usaha menentang hawa nafsu hendaklah dimulakan, diiringi dan disudahi dengan berdoa kepada Allah.
Nafsu itu makhluk Allah, maka Allah sahaja yang mampu memudahkan diri manusia untuk menguasai dirinya sendiri (nafsu).
Bahkan, usaha awal kita untuk memperbaiki diri perlulah dimulai dengan membentuk komunikasi dan interaksi yang harmoni dengan Ilahi.
Hubungan ini dibentuk melalui doa. Jika Allah permudahkan, jalan mujahadah yang payah akan menjadi mudah. Bantuan Allah inilah yang sangat kita dambakan. Malah inilah pesan Rasululllah s.a.w. kepada Muaz bin Jabal dengan katanya:
"Wahai Muaz, aku sangat cinta kepadamu. Maka selepas kau mengerjakan solat jangan sekali-kali kau lupa berdoa kepada Allah dengan doa ini:
"Ya Allah, bantulah aku mengingati-Mu, bantulah aku mensyukuri nikmat-Mu dan bantulah aku untuk mmperbaiki ibadah kepada-Mu."
Banyak lagi doa-doa yang dianjurkan oleh Rasulullah s.a.w. dalam bermujahadah melawan hawa nafsu ini. Antara doanya itu ialah:
"Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, berilah aku taqwa, dan bersihkanlah diriku. Sesungguhnya Engkaulah sebaik-baik yang membersihkan. Engkaulah pelindungku dan pemimpinku."
Langkah-Langkah Jalan Mujahadah
Langkah-langkah tersusun untuk melawan hawa nafsu seperti berikut:
1. Belajar mengenai sifat nafsu dan angkaranya.
Belajar mengenai sifat-sifat mahmudah dan mazmumah (ilmu akhlak atau tasawuf) adalah wajib.
Kita mesti mendapat ilmu yang digali daripada al-Quran dan Sunnah untuk mengetahui sifat-sifat nafsu, angkara kejatannya dan bagaimana melawannya. Para ulama telah mempermudahkan ilmu-ilmu ini mengikut kategorinya tersendiri.
2. Membina kesedaran dan keazaman yang tinggi.
Tidak cukup dengan mempunyai ilmu sahaja tanpa kesedaran dalam hati dan keazaman yang kuat untuk mengamalkannya. Bagaimana jika kita hanya ada senjata (ilmu) tetapi tidak ada keingininan yang kuat untuk mngamalkannya apabila diserang musuh?
Ilmu bukan untuk pengetahuan dan kefahaman semata-mata, tetapi yang lebih penting untuk diamalkan.
3. Mempraktikkan ilmu.
Inilah tahap yang paling sukar tetapi inilah tahap yang paling penting.
Perkara ini memerlukan satu iltizam yang kuat dalam diri kerana apa yang disukai nafsu adalah juga yang disukai oleh diri kita sendiri. Ramai orang yang tahu sesuatu kebaikan tetapi masih malas melakukannya. Dan ramai yang tahu sesuatu kejahatan tetapi masih tega melakukannya.
Semua itu kerana mereka belum 'mahu', dan baru sekadar 'tahu'.
Pengetahuan itu dicapai melalui proses belajar manakala kemahuan dibina dengan mempraktikkan apa yang telah kita pelajari. Dengan mempraktikkan ilmu barulah ilmu yang bertapak di akal dapat dipasakkan ke dalam hati. Oleh sebab itu 'tahu' tempat letakkannya di akal tetapi 'mahu' itu letaknya di hati.
4. Terus melatih diri dan bersifat konsisten melawannya.
Ramai juga orang yang telah tahu dan mahu melakukan kebaikan dan meninggalkan kejahatan, tetapi tidak lama, mereka berpatah semula ke belakang. Bak kata peribahasa Melayu sekadar "hangat-hangat tahi ayam". Mereka tidak berdaya untuk konsisten (istiqamah) dalam kebenaran.
Apa yang perlu ialah latihan yang berterusan agar tahap pengetahuan dan kemahuan itu diteruskan hingga ke tahap kemampuan.
Imam Ghazali berpesan nafsu tidak dapat dikalahkan dengan tergesa-gesa. Kehendaknya tidak boleh ditekan sekali gus melainkan perlu ditahan secara bertahap-tahap.
Latihan menundukkan hawa nafsu ini perlu dilaksanakan sedikit demi sedikit tetapi istiqamah selaras dengan sabda Rasulullah s.a.w.:
"Amalan yang baik ialah amalan yang berterusan (konsisten) sekalipun sedikit."
"Alah bisa, tegal biasa," begitulah nafsu yang jahat jika dilatih berterusan untuk melakukan kebaikan, akan terbiasalah nafsu itu dengan kebaikan dan kebajikan.
Sampai ke tahap ini, nafsu itu akan menjadi tenaga penggerak atau kenderaan (kuda tunggangan) kepada manusia. Umpama, racun pada ular senduk – di situ ada racun, di situlah juga ada penawarnya.
Sebab itu ditegaskan berkali-kali bahawa nafsu itu bukan untuk dihapus tetapi untuk diurus.
Jika diuruskan dengan baik, nafsu akan membawa kepada kemajuan rohaniah dan material dalam kehidupan.
Nafsu seks yang diurus melalui pernikahan yang sah, akan memberi ketenangan, keberkatan dan rahmat dalam diri suami dan isteri. Ia juga meneruskan kesinambungan zuriat yang akan menjadi tenaga penggerak kepada pembangunan ummah.
Begitu juga nafsu makan yang terurus, akan memberi tenaga untuk beribadah dan menyebabkan terbentuknya jaringan perniagaan, industri makanan, hub halal, inovasi dan teknologi makanan dalam bidang bioteknologi dan sebagainya.
Manusia yang dibekalkan dengan unsur nafsu inilah yang menjadi sebab mereka dilantik menjadi khalifah di muka bumi – bukan malaikat, kerana dengan nafsu makmurlah muka bumi ini dengan pembangunan yang bersendikan hukum Allah.
Sebaliknya, malaikat tidak mempunyai potensi ini kerana mereka sepi daripada sebarang keinginan dan rangsangan. Namun, jika nafsu tidak terurus manusia akan jatuh ke tahap yang lebih hina daripada haiwan (makhluk nafsu tanpa akal).
Jangan menoleh ke belakang... tempuhlah jalan mujahadah.
Itulah jalan yang penuh saadah (kebahagiaan). Walaupun itu adalah jalan yang payah, tetapi itulah jalan yang paling mudah.
Tidak ada jalan pintas!

artikel dari iluvislam